{"id":2959,"date":"2024-09-21T12:06:25","date_gmt":"2024-09-21T09:06:25","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/oldoriginal.zurnalaskelione.lt\/?p=2959"},"modified":"2024-10-02T22:44:03","modified_gmt":"2024-10-02T19:44:03","slug":"antanas-simkus-neprarasti-vilties","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/oldoriginal.zurnalaskelione.lt\/index.php\/2024\/09\/21\/antanas-simkus-neprarasti-vilties\/","title":{"rendered":"Antanas \u0160imkus. Neprarasti vilties"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u201eKelion\u0117\u201c 2024 m. Nr. II (30)<\/a><\/p>

Svarbiausia yra neprarasti vilties. Ko gero, tai buvo giliausiai \u0161irdin \u012fkrit\u0119 \u017eod\u017eiai, i\u0161girsti i\u0161 brolio pranci\u0161kono t\u0105 akimirk\u0105, kai viskas atrod\u0117 juod\u017eiausia. Paprastas pasakymas, be \u012fmantrybi\u0173, primygtini\u0173 si\u016blym\u0173 k\u0105 nors keisti ar dirbtinai nepasiduoti. Ir tuo metu to labai reik\u0117jo.<\/p>

Nesu labai i\u0161kalbus dvasinink\u0173 akivaizdoje. Pasaulis sud\u0117liotas taip keistai, kad da\u017eniausiai atima \u017ead\u0105. Ypa\u010d, kai reikia kalb\u0117ti apie savo vidin\u012f. Atrodo, kad ten viskas taip apdau\u017eyta, sujaukta, randuota, kad bet kokie \u017eod\u017eiai neturi prasm\u0117s.<\/p>

Ir vis d\u0117lto kartais per sunku i\u0161b\u016bti be jos. Kai nebegali gyventi savo kasdienyb\u0117je, kai rytas vis dar primena nakt\u012f ir tik ka\u017ekur ne\u012fsivaizduojamai toli esan\u010dion \u0161viesos karalyst\u0117n nukreipti \u0161nab\u017edesiai leid\u017eia ma\u017eais \u017eingsniukais jud\u0117ti po namus, po truput\u012f i\u0161siruo\u0161ti i\u0161 j\u0173.<\/p>

Kiek kart\u0173 per dien\u0105 turi stabtel\u0117ti, \u012fkv\u0117pti, pabandyti \u017evilgsniu sugauti ka\u017ek\u0105 \u2013 kito \u017emogaus bals\u0105, gest\u0105, pauk\u0161\u010dio \u0161m\u0117k\u0161tel\u0117jim\u0105 u\u017e lango, med\u017eio linktel\u0117jim\u0105 v\u0117jui \u2013 pajausti, kad nesi atskirtas, atsiskyr\u0119s, kad turi laiko sugr\u012f\u017eti, pirmiausia \u012f save, tada \u2013 v\u0117l link artimiausio pasaulio.<\/p>

Skaitau tekstus, raid\u0117 po raid\u0117s, d\u0117lion\u0117 po d\u0117lion\u0117s, \u2013 ra\u0161tas visada yra tik tinklas, \u0161\u012f t\u0105 i\u0161trauksi, prasimaitinsi, kit\u0105 pavai\u0161insi, bet u\u017e jo, u\u017e t\u0173 gij\u0173 aki\u0173 lieka visas vandenynas, laikas, gelm\u0117s, kurios turi sav\u0105sias paslaptis, o tu vis kapstaisi pavir\u0161iais, kapstaisi\u2026<\/p>

Ne\u017einau, ar nor\u0117\u010diau tur\u0117ti valt\u012f, perplaukti did\u017eiulius atstumus, atradin\u0117ti nematytus krantus, ie\u0161koti ka\u017eko ten, \u012fsikurdin\u0117ti \u2013 nesu tas keliautojas, atrad\u0117jas. Vis d\u0117lto did\u017eiausi praradimai vidin\u0117je pasaulio dalyje, ir tai svarbiau nei visa, kas i\u0161nyk\u0119 istoriniuose \u017eem\u0117lapiuose.<\/p>

Vienos akimirkos, minut\u0117s, valandos pajauta, \u012fsis\u0105moninimas yra tegu ir nedidel\u0117, bet galimyb\u0117 \u2013 i\u0161eiti i\u0161 vienatv\u0117s, i\u0161 negyvenamos dykviet\u0117s, vis ka\u017ek\u0105 \u0161nab\u017edant, pra\u0161ant, d\u0117kojant, \u2013 net jei atrodo, kad tariami garsai yra tik garsai, skiemenys, pusgyviai sakiniai\u2026<\/p>

Jauti, kad gyvenimas, i\u0161eitis niekada nei\u0161tiks tuo patogiu b\u016bdu, kada lauki, tikiesi, d\u0117l to ir eini, \u2013 l\u0117tai, tarsi tikrindamas, ar nesubyr\u0117s, nesugurs po kojom tas takas, ypa\u010d jei tamsa, jei nesi tikras, kad i\u0161eisi, jei tiesiog neatpa\u017e\u012fsti, nebeatpa\u017e\u012fsti, kur tave veda.<\/p>

Neprarask vilties. Kartoju sau \u017eod\u017eius, vis prisimindamas, kaip jie tarsi i\u0161 niekur apgaub\u0117 mane, ir tais metais pasilikau, pasirinkau b\u016bti. Gyvenimas tada netapo ma\u017eiau komplikuotas, ta\u010diau gal\u0117jau atitraukti \u017evilgsn\u012f nuo sav\u0119s, to min\u010di\u0173 akivaro.<\/p>

Ma\u010diau saul\u0119, lyd\u0117davau j\u0105 keliu tarp nam\u0173, debes\u0173 ir l\u0117ktuv\u0173, reg\u0117jau, kaip ji glosto daugiaauk\u0161\u010di\u0173 stiklus, kaip \u012fgyja siel\u0105 net tos tu\u0161\u010dios akys, kaip \u0161vyti tolumos, i\u0161did\u017eiai ne\u0161an\u010dios b\u016bsimojo laiko dovanas.<\/p>

Gird\u0117jau, kaip atgijo v\u0117jo ganomos apleist\u0173 kr\u016bmok\u0161ni\u0173 kaimen\u0117s, jas s\u016bkuriuodami pri\u017ei\u016br\u0117jo dulki\u0173 piemenys, \u2013 vaik\u0161\u010diodavau t\u0173 atoki\u0173 lank\u0173 pakra\u0161\u010diais, jau gal\u0117jau vaik\u0161\u010dioti ir steb\u0117ti, ir tas pasaulis buvo stebuklingai gra\u017eus.<\/p>

Jau\u010diau, kaip po truput\u012f pavasar\u0117ja ir tampa jaukiau ne tik u\u017emies\u010dio pa\u0161aliuose, bet ir viduje. Rod\u0117s, ka\u017ekas netgi ni\u016bniuoja \u2013 lyg atsklinda i\u0161 netolimos kaimynyst\u0117s, lyg pats jau ka\u017ek\u0105 ne tik \u0161nab\u017edi, ne tik beri tarsi gr\u016bdus\u2026<\/p>

Kartais jau netgi i\u0161gr\u012fsdavai atsisukti \u2013 syk\u012f matei, kaip tavo pabertus \u017eod\u017eius ant kelio sut\u016bp\u0119 les\u0117 pauk\u0161\u010diai, galb\u016bt netgi tarp j\u0173 buvo tas, kurio sparn\u0173 mostus jaukinaisi anks\u010diau, galb\u016bt, bet dar nebuvai tikras. Bijojai tuo patik\u0117ti.<\/p>

Nueidavai vis toliau nuo nam\u0173, \u2013 tirpo nuog\u0105stavimai, kad pasiklysi, negr\u012f\u0161i, tarsi \u012f elgetos deln\u0105 smulkieji po truput\u012f krito geros, kit\u0173 su\u0161ildytos mintys, \u2013 dienai baigiantis jau gal\u0117davai ne tik nusi\u0161ypsoti, bet ir nusijuokti.<\/p>

Vien\u0105 nakt\u012f susapnavai ka\u017ek\u0105 labai jaukaus ir gra\u017eaus, pabud\u0119s negal\u0117jai tiksliai prisiminti k\u0105, ta\u010diau atsiminei jausm\u0105 \u2013 tu esi vilties, o viltis yra tavo. Visada ir visiems laikams. Pa\u017eadas, kuris niekada nebus sulau\u017eytas. Jei tik tu nelau\u017eysi sav\u0119s.<\/p>

\u2026Nuo to laiko pra\u0117jo keleri metai. Negaliu pasakyti, kad i\u0161mokau nuolat \u0161ypsotis, kad niekada nenuleid\u017eiu rank\u0173, nenukabinu nosies ar nepasiduodu tamsos \u0161iurpui, \u2013 anaiptol. Ta\u010diau dabar a\u0161 jau pakeliu akis ir da\u017eniausiai i\u0161vystu ka\u017ek\u0105, kas t\u0105 akimirk\u0105 mane gelbsti \u2013 \u0161vies\u0105, gest\u0105, pauk\u0161t\u012f. Tave.<\/p>

Vir\u0161elis: Gretos Grikevi\u010di\u016bt\u0117s instaliacija \u201eAtmena\u201c, 2023 m. Broli\u0173 \u010cerniausk\u0173 nuotraukos fragmentas.<\/em><\/p>

\"\"<\/figure>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Svarbiausia yra neprarasti vilties. Ko gero, tai buvo giliausiai \u0161irdin \u012fkrit\u0119 \u017eod\u017eiai, i\u0161girsti i\u0161 brolio pranci\u0161kono t\u0105 akimirk\u0105, kai viskas atrod\u0117 juod\u017eiausia. Paprastas pasakymas, be \u012fmantrybi\u0173, primygtini\u0173 si\u016blym\u0173 k\u0105 nors keisti ar dirbtinai nepasiduoti. Ir tuo metu to labai reik\u0117jo.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":2963,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[25,344],"tags":[173,324,325,326,47,121],"class_list":["post-2959","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-maranata","category-projektas-ikvepimai","tag-antanas-simkus","tag-ilgesys","tag-jausmai","tag-stiprybe","tag-tikejimas","tag-viltis"],"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/oldoriginal.zurnalaskelione.lt\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/09\/Atmena-Greta-Grik.-fotbrolcer.jpg","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"featured_media_urls":{"thumbnail":["https:\/\/oldoriginal.zurnalaskelione.lt\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/09\/Atmena-Greta-Grik.-fotbrolcer-150x150.jpg",150,150,true],"medium":["https:\/\/oldoriginal.zurnalaskelione.lt\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/09\/Atmena-Greta-Grik.-fotbrolcer-300x200.jpg",300,200,true],"medium_large":["https:\/\/oldoriginal.zurnalaskelione.lt\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/09\/Atmena-Greta-Grik.-fotbrolcer.jpg",768,512,false],"large":["https:\/\/oldoriginal.zurnalaskelione.lt\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/09\/Atmena-Greta-Grik.-fotbrolcer-1024x683.jpg",950,634,true],"1536x1536":["https:\/\/oldoriginal.zurnalaskelione.lt\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/09\/Atmena-Greta-Grik.-fotbrolcer-1536x1024.jpg",1536,1024,true],"2048x2048":["https:\/\/oldoriginal.zurnalaskelione.lt\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/09\/Atmena-Greta-Grik.-fotbrolcer-2048x1365.jpg",2048,1365,true],"inspiro-featured-image":["https:\/\/oldoriginal.zurnalaskelione.lt\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/09\/Atmena-Greta-Grik.-fotbrolcer-2000x1333.jpg",2000,1333,true],"inspiro-loop":["https:\/\/oldoriginal.zurnalaskelione.lt\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/09\/Atmena-Greta-Grik.-fotbrolcer-950x320.jpg",950,320,true],"inspiro-loop@2x":["https:\/\/oldoriginal.zurnalaskelione.lt\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/09\/Atmena-Greta-Grik.-fotbrolcer-1900x640.jpg",1900,640,true],"menu-24x24":["https:\/\/oldoriginal.zurnalaskelione.lt\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/09\/Atmena-Greta-Grik.-fotbrolcer-24x16.jpg",24,16,true],"menu-36x36":["https:\/\/oldoriginal.zurnalaskelione.lt\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/09\/Atmena-Greta-Grik.-fotbrolcer-36x24.jpg",36,24,true],"menu-48x48":["https:\/\/oldoriginal.zurnalaskelione.lt\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/09\/Atmena-Greta-Grik.-fotbrolcer-48x32.jpg",48,32,true],"woocommerce_thumbnail":["https:\/\/oldoriginal.zurnalaskelione.lt\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/09\/Atmena-Greta-Grik.-fotbrolcer-300x200.jpg",300,200,true],"woocommerce_single":["https:\/\/oldoriginal.zurnalaskelione.lt\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/09\/Atmena-Greta-Grik.-fotbrolcer-600x400.jpg",600,400,true],"woocommerce_gallery_thumbnail":["https:\/\/oldoriginal.zurnalaskelione.lt\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/09\/Atmena-Greta-Grik.-fotbrolcer-100x100.jpg",100,100,true],"portfolio_item-thumbnail":["https:\/\/oldoriginal.zurnalaskelione.lt\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/09\/Atmena-Greta-Grik.-fotbrolcer-600x400.jpg",600,400,true],"portfolio_item-thumbnail@2x":["https:\/\/oldoriginal.zurnalaskelione.lt\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/09\/Atmena-Greta-Grik.-fotbrolcer-1200x800.jpg",1200,800,true],"portfolio_item-masonry":["https:\/\/oldoriginal.zurnalaskelione.lt\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/09\/Atmena-Greta-Grik.-fotbrolcer-600x400.jpg",600,400,true],"portfolio_item-masonry@2x":["https:\/\/oldoriginal.zurnalaskelione.lt\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/09\/Atmena-Greta-Grik.-fotbrolcer-1200x800.jpg",1200,800,true],"portfolio_item-thumbnail_cinema":["https:\/\/oldoriginal.zurnalaskelione.lt\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/09\/Atmena-Greta-Grik.-fotbrolcer-800x335.jpg",800,335,true],"portfolio_item-thumbnail_portrait":["https:\/\/oldoriginal.zurnalaskelione.lt\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/09\/Atmena-Greta-Grik.-fotbrolcer-600x900.jpg",600,900,true],"portfolio_item-thumbnail_portrait@2x":["https:\/\/oldoriginal.zurnalaskelione.lt\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/09\/Atmena-Greta-Grik.-fotbrolcer-1200x1440.jpg",1200,1440,true],"portfolio_item-thumbnail_square":["https:\/\/oldoriginal.zurnalaskelione.lt\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/09\/Atmena-Greta-Grik.-fotbrolcer-800x800.jpg",800,800,true]},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/oldoriginal.zurnalaskelione.lt\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2959"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/oldoriginal.zurnalaskelione.lt\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/oldoriginal.zurnalaskelione.lt\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/oldoriginal.zurnalaskelione.lt\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/oldoriginal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